Goodrich

July, 1999 - Vol. XXVIII No. 1
Rites of Passage: Recognition of Growth and Change

Often when I read books on children’s development, I find a litany of problems to be faced: terrible twos, defiant sixes, terrifying teens. What if we were to look instead at development as a process loved into us by God, which, when allowed to unfold, will reflect the Creator. As Meister Eckhart states, "Every creature is a book about God."

Children spend the first five years coming to know themselves and their families. Their lives are very me-focused. When they feel secure within themselves, they begin to move into the next stage and reach out to the broader community (age 6-11). Maria Montessori notes three major transitions during these years:

    1. Child’s felt need to extend beyond the closed environment of family
    2. Passing of the mind to the abstract
    3. Awakening of a moral sense in the child

Jesus modeled this for us. He spent years in seclusion growing in wisdom before he began his public ministry. (Luke 4:40)

If we view life as a pilgrimage, then we need to stop periodically and celebrate the sacred moments or places of the journey. In doing this we acknowledge the presence of God in everyday life. We celebrate the child’s growth. We affirm the child. We bless this new moment of transition. In viewing the development of children from this perspective, we see God’s heartprints along the way instead of pitfalls. How can we do this with our children?

I’d like to suggest five ways to celebrate, affirm and bless the presence of God’s heartprints in our children’s lives:

I. Celebrate Child loses first tooth. We acknowledge the child’s entry into the next level of childhood.

Beforehand Purchase a special journal to give the child, and a new piece of clothing.

Leader: O Lord, we come together to celebrate N’s lost tooth. You invite him/her now to leave babyhood and toddlerhood and enter the next phase of childhood. (place baby items in a special keepsake box)

Leader: We put away the small garment you have outgrown and give you a new bigger garment. We bless it now. (Each person present holds the garment and makes a heart wish for the child.)

Leader: There was a time when we wrote all about you in your baby book but now you are able to write. So we present to you a special book – your own journal. In this you can collect all your everyday "birth days" and see God’s heartprints in your life.

Child receives the journal and reads the special inscription by the parent(s).

All present puts their hands over the child: Be who you are and may you be blessed in all that you are. Amen

Share - Everyone takes the time to write a heart wish in the journal. Have the child’s favorite dessert.

II. Celebrate Child’s ability to leave home and walk somewhere in the neighborhood without parents.

Talk about the custom long ago when it was an act of friendship to wash someone’s feet because there were no cars and people walked everywhere on dusty roads.

Leader: Wash the child’s feet and say: Blessed are the feet that go in the name of the Lord. (Isaiah 52:7)

Child: I go forth now with your blessing to bring God’s love to all the people I meet.

Blessed are You, Lord our God, for you have created a wide and wonderful world. Free the road from harm and evil, and send as escorts your holy spirit and your angelic messengers.

Child: On this journey I take with me a heart wrapped in wonder and thanksgiving. AMEN

III. Celebrate The child’s growing sense of awareness of other’s needs and a developing moral sense.

Child or Leader reads a favorite miracle story from scripture. Talk about Jesus’ love for people and how he always reached out to help. Take time to write on the hands things this child has done for others. The child can write too.

Leader: O, Lord you always offer the helping hand to others. Help N and all of us to be aware of people in need. May we always be ready to reach out our hand to them.

Sharing Glue - the hand prints into the journal. Talk about what you as a family could do to reach out to people in need.

IV. Celebrate The widening world of your child venturing forth on his/her own bike.

Leader: We gather O Lord, to bless this bike which will take my child many places.

All: Each person sprinkles water on the bike, saying: May you be safe and use good judgement wherever you go.

Child: May my guardian angel accompany me as I discover with my friends all the wonders of God’s creation.

Leader: Trace with your finger a heart or cross on the forehead of the child: Go now and be a bearer of the good news wherever you go.

Share how Jesus knew he couldn’t do his work alone but needed a whole team. Each person brings a special gift to share. Have child share what his/her gift is and what his/her teammates do best.

Leader: (sprinkle water on the uniform) I bless this uniform as a sign of your membership on a team. May you always give your best to the team and support each of its members.

Child: (puts on jersey) I put on this jersey as sign of my commitment to this team:

    I will come to practices.
    I will try my best each time.
    I will never put down another team player.
    I will listen to the coach.

Leader: O Lord, as you called and blessed your team of disciples, we ask you now to bless this team player. May all that s/he does in this uniform reflect your spirit of fairness and care.

Kristine Goodrich is Director of the Child and Family Institute, Menlo Park, CA.
She is co-author of PlayWays to God: Early Childhood Religious Ed Program and Faith-Full Families: Family Celebrations for the Seasons