Late life is a time of many changes and transitions. The frequency, intensity, and emotional impact of changes in later life are similar to those of adolescence, varying with individual differences yet requiring healthy processing for continued emotional, psychological, and spiritual growth and development. There are many "rites of passage" for young people, clear acknowledgements of moving through the process of growing up and becoming an adult.

    In later life there are many significant changes and transitions, yet very few "rites of passage," either in society or the church, that support an individual in naming the change, discerning a life-affirming response to the change, and celebrating closures or new beginnings. One reason may be that we are in the first decades of a society in which two-thirds of the people who ever lived to be 65 or more are living now, and in which the fastest growing age group in the total population is people over 85. Another reason may be that we do not view the changes in later life as meaningful events in our spiritual journey toward becoming fully human and fully ourselves.

    Research on aging is beginning to look at components of "successful" aging – the attitudes or beliefs that help people see value, quality, and meaning in their lives even in the face of cumulative loss, illness, or declining physical or cognitive capacity. Maintaining one’s sense of self through the changes and transitions of life is an important component of successful aging; so also is the understanding that emotional and spiritual growth can continue throughout the entire life course.

    In this article I will explore a few of the transitions, the "passages," that many people experience in later life, either as part of their own lives or in the lives of a spouse or family member. Though they may seem "negative," they are real if we live long enough, and they challenge the depths of our faith, spirituality and our very being. They also are rich opportunities for spiritual awakening and support within a community of love and faith, be that the family, the congregation, or both. Among the important "passages" in later life, for most people, are:

• retirement from a formal job or career
• evaluating the meaning and purpose of one’s life in light of awareness of mortality, or "years yet to live"
• death of a spouse
• loss of some (possibly much) functional capacity
• a change of status from independence to some level of dependency
• decisions about relocating to "scaled down" housing or assisted care
• onset of a life-threatening, chronic, or degenerative illness
• decisions about end of life treatment: Advance Directives, Comfort Care
• loss of dreams that are associated with any of the above events

    Each of these events causes a crisis for the Self. Each often causes the loss of dreams that were to be lived out in the time yet to come. Each of these events precipitates a need for emotional and spiritual response, for discernment of meaning, for adaptation to one’s new world. For each of these events the church can provide support and guidance through a process of discerning God’s presence and call in the midst of sorrow, and a rite of blessing for the process. To fully honor these passages of later life we must design "rites of passage" – rites that acknowledge, bless, and face us forward into an ever deepening relationship with God.

    The focus of this article is on three of these late life passages: retirement, loss of dreams, and the decisions to institute palliative ("comfort") care for a terminal illness or to move to an assisted care setting when dependency increases.

 Retirement

    The opportunity to "retire" from a job or career is increasingly seen as an "entitlement" rather than a mandatory punishment. With the exception of artists, writers, composers, and others who do not see themselves as ever retiring from what they do, most people enter retirement sometime in their 60’s or early 70’s. With retirement comes the opportunity for a new focus in life – for leisure and travel, for volunteering, for learning, even for a new career. With retirement also comes the loss of a defined role in the workplace, the loss of structure for the ordering of the day, and a lack of clarity about the meaning and purpose of one’s life. Retirement is a "rite of passage" in our society – celebrated as an opportunity by co-workers, family, and friends and even marked by the government with payment of the first Social Security check. A rite that names this new beginning, and invokes the guidance of the Holy Spirit in discerning ways to live out the Baptismal covenant in this new period of life, would be a welcome addition to retirement as a rite of passage in later life.

 Loss of Dreams

    Ted Bowman, a minister and counselor in Minneapolis, speaks about "loss of dreams" and makes a powerful case for the need to acknowledge and grieve for the dreams of fulfillment in later life that are lost due to illness, death of a spouse, or any crisis that changes one’s future. In trying to adapt to "reality" in the best way they can, people may grieve the specific loss, but they do not identify and grieve the loss of all the hopes and dreams associated with life as it was before the loss. When the lost dreams and hopes are not included in the grieving process, the spiritual and emotional process of healing is impeded, usually by depression. The experience of resurrection and the birth of new hope are made possible when, through symbolic ritual, the loss of dreams is acknowledged, and the pain of all the losses is offered to God for healing.

 Transition to Long-term Care or to Comfort Care

    Peter A. Clark, a Jesuit priest, writes of the need for a ritual response for the transition between ending medical treatment and beginning palliative (comfort) care. The same need exists for the transition from independent living to an assisted care setting. All adequate "care" must address not only pain, but also psychological, social, and spiritual problems in order to achieve the best quality of life for both the older person and her family. In the transition between treatment and the initiation of palliative care, and in the transition from home to assisted care, both the older person and his family may experience alienation and despair. Fear of dependence and abandonment loom large for the older person; a sense of helplessness and discomfort in the face of suffering and pain often causes family and friends to avoid meaningful contact with the person who needs care. A ritual response to those transitions can transform the relationship between the person needing care and the family so that God is made present through the love and presence of others. As a ritual symbol, family and friends commit themselves in both word and action to be present to the person either throughout the remainder of his or her illness (in the case of palliative care), or in other specific ways (for the person entering a long-term care setting).

    The church in today’s world has a call to understand the many passages of later life and to respond through rites that support and guide people through the spiritual dimensions of those passages. I would like to hear from individuals or parishes who have begun to address this need.

References:

Bowman, Ted. Loss of Dreams. Video and booklet available for loan through Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital Health Education Services: 503-413-7348.

Clark, Peter A. "The transition between ending medical treatment and beginning palliative care: The need for a ritual response." Worship 72(4), July, 1999.