One of the ways is to tell your story. This is a story that only you know; your story belongs to no one else. It is your alone. However, in sharing your life story with someone else – preferably several others – and listening to them share their stories, something wonderful, almost magical, happens within that community.

    How do you go about doing this? To use that popular slogan, "Just do it." You don’t have to practice; you don’t have to work it out; you only have to tell it. Begin where you want – as early in life as possible. Share what has been important to you along the way. What have you done in life? What have you liked? What has made you happy or sad? Share the highs and the lows. What makes you angry? What gives you energy? Where’s the excitement? Where is the joy? Where do you find meaning?

    One of the first times I ever did this was at a clergy conference. We were told to find a partner who we’d like to be with for several hours, and then were told, "One of you needs to begin; you have two hours, tell your life story." The listener was not to interrupt but could ask questions for clarification; there was to be no discussion, only listening. I don’t know if I chose Bob Ellis or if he chose me. I do know that we were glad to be together. We walked the beach at Gearhart and talked and talked and talked. Once each of us started the story seemed to roll by itself. Neither of us could believe the two hours had passed. And for the second two hours we reversed roles. It was a powerful experience for us – both in the telling and in the listening. Not only did our friendship increase, but we began to see our own strengths and weaknesses, patterns began to emerge, and each of saw our calling to ministry sharpened. There was a greater appreciation of who we were in the place we were called to minister.

    I don’t suggest you follow the two hour assignment. I do suggest that you begin to do this at church at the beginning of your search for discerning gifts and sharing ministry. There are several instruments or tests published that help us discern gifts and they are useful. But we can begin without them. We can begin by telling our stories in the community of the faithful. At church we are attempting to share the sacred – that’s why we share Scripture each week. These Bible lessons are stories about places and times and events where God becomes clear. In sharing our own stories we will touch upon special times, places, and events which may be the holy places in our own lives. Sharing that holy space will foster trust and that trust will grow as we honour that holy place in others. We will let others know us better and we will know each of them more fully.

    How do we go about doing this? First of all, the group – however large or small – must agree to do it. It will take some time. Once you begin, you need to allow everyone the opportunity to share a story. So it may take several evenings or meetings to hear from everyone.

It may be important to build a few ground rules or guidelines. Let me share some possibilities:

• Pray: Ask for God’s help that each person’s story be made clear, and that we all listen to the story for the gifts that are being called out of us.
• Confidentiality: What’s shared in the group stays in the group. We don’t share the content of anyone else’s story without permission.
• Clarification questions only: The story time is not the discussion time; that may come later when we are looking at community needs. However, if you don’t understand, ask.
• No therapy: This is not a therapy session; we are only listening. Often, we want to "fix" things in other people’s lives. This is not the time or place to do that. Likewise, don’t try to "top" someone else when it is your turn to tell your story.

    Listen to everyone’s story. Don’t try to jump to conclusions too quickly. After all the stories are told, some patterns are likely to emerge. You will seen new strengths and you will discover new resources. You will be amazed at the richness that is in your group. You may see new ways of doing teamwork as skills and interests get uncovered. You may see something new in your own life and you certainly will see new possibilities for the community.

    I have long believed that God gives to each community the gifts it needs to do the ministry to which it is called. We are not all called to do the same thing. Our church community may be called to offer one particular gift for the larger community and no other church is called to do that.

    Once the stories are told and you have heard from everyone, then comes the time to analyze or ask questions about the gifts that are in the stories. The first step is to identify the gifts. What is there? It may be that once you tell your story you can see something that only you could offer. It may be that as you hear someone else’s story you see or perceive what s/he can offer. Then bring to the whole collection of stories these questions: What has God given us? What does this talent pool mean for our church community? …for the whole community? What might we do with all these gifts? In the Prayer Book Catechism, ministry is described as "Christ’s work of reconciliation in the world." How might this collection of gifts work toward that end?

    God doesn’t call us to failure. God doesn’t call us to do something we can’t do or don’t like to do. We each have gifts – talents, skills, interests, and abilities – that we can offer. Each of these can be seen as a gift from God. None of us needs to do everything; none of us needs to be overburdened. Each of us needs to offer something. We may discover something that only we can offer in this work of reconciliation.

© 2001, Diocese of Oregon
updated 05/03/2003 16:19
contact: kylew@diocese-oregon.org